Predictable porn made by MEN
Among other things, I decided to begin to produce a different kind of porn because I was fed up with the cliches that the porn producers (MEN) want to make us believe in:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Every man has at least one litre sperm when he comes.
6. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
7. Young beautiful women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding fine.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. Those tits are real.
12. Double penetration makes women smile.
13. Asian men don't exist.
14. Neither man with small cocks.
15. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
16. There's a plot.
17. All women love slaps on their butts.
18. Nurses suck patients' cocks.
19. Men always pull out.
20. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
21. Women never have headaches... or periods.
22. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
23. Assholes are clean and yummy.
24. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
25. And finally, Men never have to beg because a woman always wants to.
Posted by ERIKA LUST at 8:07 AM
7 Comments
This is absolutely HILARIOUS! You hit the nail on the head! Great job :)
magdala~
Well done! I really like the way you tell things. I was quite excited when I got fast access to the internet, I hoped I could find cool sex videos (just like you can find nice and enjoyable erotic literature). But I got quite disappointed. Keep on directing, please!
Jude, from the French West Indies (Guadeloupe).
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1- I agree. That was a perfect view of porn. To add more, i also agree wiht you, that should change.
2- Have you thought what CIA agents think about 007 movies? or doctors watching series as ER?
Porn reverend Erika's 25 Theses - I agree with you!
You're right. They are so unrealistic. And noisy women sucks! Ooops, no pun intended.
I wish we had a more true-to-life approach on those movies.
Absolutely great, but it lacks another one, 26th:pizza deliverers always fuck clients.What do you think?
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